addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's blow job season.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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