The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
