Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
