..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
