whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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