Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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