drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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