If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
sex in a hospital.. check
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
