Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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