this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
