just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
