quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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