goodnight i made you a song goodbye
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize