and my herpes radar will keep us safe
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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