you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
