I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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