yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
