i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
