I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
