they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm having to shit out rocks
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