Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
