oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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