i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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