My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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