thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
