So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
