the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
two words...techno handjob
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
