If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
