i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
