Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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