so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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