the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
