the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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