I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
