But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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