Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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