She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
