Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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