Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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