Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
