She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
