ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
