As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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