I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
