I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
