good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
