You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
