If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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