The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
