i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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